Schuyler. the girl anachronism. (fearlessme) wrote,
Schuyler. the girl anachronism.
fearlessme

words, words, words

I've been writing a lot of poetry. It's fucking ridiculous. But it's good to know I've got my flow back.



"Who am I?" She cries.
Throwing herslef down on the ground
Running her hands over her eyes,
There's no one else around.
"I'm a liar!" She screams.
"This is a mistake, it isn't me.
Damn all my broken dreams,
When do I get to be free?"
With knees scrapped
Against the shattered floor,
"I feel trapped,
But somehow I want more."
She lays on splintered glass
Staring to a dark sky
"How much longer can this last?
I'm just about ready to die."
Hands are clasped around a broken heart
All the sitches that kept her whole
Have now rippeed apart,
She's lost control.
She falls to many pieces
"I though I was ok." she said
But with every breath the pain increases,
There is no bright light ahead.
"I thought that if,
I gave you a piece of me
I wouldn't feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff,
I thought, maybe you could agree."
So as the shards penetrate her mind
Cutting the threads that keep her whole
With eyes gone blind
She finally lost her soul.

------------------------------


"Will you be with me?" she asked.
"Yes," he said, "because I have no one else."
With his emotions masked,
He went with that someone else.
"Will you love me?" she demanded.
"I might," he said, "because I don't love myself."
"Please don't leave me stranded,
With your heart upon a dusty shelf."
She looked at him with glassy eyes
Tears glossing her sunken heart.
"I would rather cut these ties,
Than to never be alone." And then he falls apart.
"Are you settling for me?" she replied.
Wearing his heart upon her sleeve.
"I think a part of me has died,"
He said, "I'm not sure what to believe."
She covered her eyes and began to cry
"I'm not sure I believe in you."
She took his hand and said goodbye
Both knowing they were through.

------------------------------------------------


What am I?
I'm a lie
Not quite yet a liar
These walls I try
To create and hide
Protect me from the world

----------------------------------------------


how come no one ever questions,
what's gotten into me?
no one notices my repressions,
or the person I've longed to be.

my convictions are weak
so broken, battered, and bruised
when i really need to, i won't speak
the pain of the self-inflicting abused.

so why is it that i'm void,
a heart so cold,
all the lives i've destroyed,
yet i still have someone to hold.

i wish in a perfect instant
you did not exist
but when i wish for perfection, it seems i can't
leave the moments behind, i can't resist.

you're a liar, a thief, a broken record
how many times have i heard you track
it's time you realized your life deserves no reward
instead of taking, taking, taking back

what's never yours
soon becomes what isn't mine
if only we could end these bitter wars
my stolen life will never sit so devine

so live my life as if it were your own
without a care in your heart
feeling better that it's known
you deserved it from the start

keep on lying to your damaged soul
pretend this world owes you a debt
so take the lives of those you stole
go ahead, take what you can get

--------------------------------


Remember when
You said I couldn't do it?
That in the end
I'd have to admit
I was a failure
I couldn't do anything right
All the details before
All these put downs are contrite

*****

Fringes of my past
Torn and tattered
But these memories have faded
Fringes of my past
A quilt that's tattered
Childhood has passed
Threads of memories are scattered
These faint and fuzzy portraits
I barely remember you
But I wish I could recreate

****

You have three important smiles
One that graces, when you talk about your music
The second, dances across your lips when you're funny
But, if you have to know
Your last smile is the greatest one of all
Striking from ear to ear
It's the one I love the most
The one where you're looking at me

*****

I fell for you one day
But I never told a soul

*****

Remember real romance?
No one minded, not a second glance
Love wasn't just a trend
No one had to pretend
What's with us kids today?
All this drama in the way
Now, he really loves her
But she's scared of together
He thinks her heart is cold
So he came for someone else to hold
New girl thinks it's something special
But he knows she has no potential
He kisses her, but pretends it's me
Hold her in his arms, but would rather be
Somewhere, with the one who ran away
Obliged to make it all okay
His poor replacement girl
So ignorant to his emotional world
The make shift girl wants what she can't have
He settles for dividing his heart in half

---------------------------------------------------


eyes are so vacant
he's off on another predicted rant
he feels like staying by himself
with a broken heart left upon a bookshelf
likes the comfort misery brings
can't help but question all these things
wishes his eyes would close forever
his dreams are one dying never
"anything's better than redundancy,
what do I do with me?"
he can't remember his yesterdays
he swears he can change his ways
but his tomorrows don't look much better
his cheeks just happen to get wetter
he's got diagrams of a well planned suicide
and perfect etching on his forearom on the outside
somewhere else, he would have lived a different life story
he might have had a little glory
he cries a dream only fools believe
he wears the world upon his sleeve
so with wrists donning immaculate slits
noticing a coffin beautifully fits
he needed just some time to forgive
but by all odds, he should've lived.
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